So you finally did it.  You've done the research, asked friends, family, even strangers if you liked their hair, and you decided on a stylist. Did you make an appointment. Congratulations ! It's  exciting ,and also a little scary. Maybe a lot scary.  So many curly girls have had very traumatic experiences with hair dressers, so here are some ways to ensure a positive experience.
        You've already taken the first step by finding a stylist . Your research should include  looking at their website, seeing their work, and hopefully communicating with them before the first visit. It's important to have appropriate expectations. There are some things you can do to make your wishes clear. Pictures are always helpful , both of yourself showing positives and negatives,, as well as pictures  of styles you like.  A discussion is important of course, but pictures can help clarify your wishes.  Your stylist will want to know what your daily routine is , as well as what products you use. Remember : Tell the truth ! If your stylist doesn't have accurate information , they can't give you the best results. If you colored your hair six months ago, and your hair is long, you have chemically treated hair, and that affects hair texture. Medications and physical issues can affect your hair as well. Do you have hard water ? Swim in a chlorinated pool? All these things affect hair texture , as well as how your hair may react to products.  Don't forget to tell all of this to your stylist.
    What condition is your hair in ? This speaks to having those appropriate expectations. If your hair is very dry from many of the possible reasons listed, and you don't want to take off any length, you may never quite get the hydrated curls of your dreams. Despite what  hair product commercials  tell you, seriously damaged hair can not be fixed with product. Or it may take some time of using good products, putting away those harsh shampoos, brushes and towels to get your hair fully hydrated. Treat those curls with the love they deserve!
   Remember : your hair stylist is not a magician or a mind reader. It should be a relationship of give and take. If you are clear about your wishes, and feel you both agree on how to proceed, have fun,and embrace your natural texture!

       One  of my very favorite calls is from a mom or dad wanting to know how to care for their child's hair. I love that! So many of us grew up hating our hair. I know I did. It was different from the other girls': it was unpredictable, messy, and just too big. It was always a fight to tame that mass of curls. So a parent asking for help,help in teaching their child to make the very best of their assets so they can love what they have and present their very best face to the world is an honor . Asking for help is never easy , and admitting there is something you are unable to do for your childish humbling. Yet who better to humble yourself for but your child?  There are so many reasons why this may be unchartered territory for a parent:the child may have a completely different hair type than their parents. Or perhaps the parent has similar hair, but was never taught how to care for it and has never learned to accept their hair. There is nothing sadder to me than seeing a parent with chemically relaxed or heat damaged hair, next to their gloriously ringleted child. What is the unspoken message to this child? What you have is unacceptable , unattractive, and to be hidden. There are so many spoken and unspoken expectations in our culture, and breaking them down is never easy. Yet giving a child  that freedom is a wonderful gift.
 When a parent calls, the first question, especially when dealing with a young child, is how to detangle. Often it's a battle, and therefore is easier to avoid . Don't do it! You'll wind up with a giant knot, or worse. That fine hair can knot itself into an ever growing mat. The more you avoid it, the bigger it gets. Take the time to detangle daily  . Keeping those curls tangle free starts with what not to do: no shampoo, which is drying, no combs, brushes, or towels. Using  gentle sulfate free cleanser, and a hydrating conditioner, will keep those curls healthy. If possible, detangle with your fingers. Think about it: Your fingers are the same as wide tooth comb, aren't they? There are some great detangling sprays available. Another option is a spray bottle filled with watered down conditioner.  Once the hair is tangle free, do your best to prevent new tangles .At night, putting hair up in a loose braid or pony tail with a fabric hair band ,and sleeping on a satin pillowcase will preserve those curls and prevent tangles.
 When it's time for a cut, a curl by curl cut by a curly hair stylist will make the best of those curls. You will get instructions on the best products for your child's hair type, and how to apply them. 

 Feel good. You are giving your child the best start in a very positive self concept!

     Depending on where you live, as well as your hair's particular frizz factor , it's pretty likely that this time of year you have a completely different head of hair. So a different head of hair has different needs. We need to reevaluate what products you use, how much , and how they are applied. Don't worry : none of this involves wearing a bag over your head,  a large hat, or hiding until the humidity goes down.
    Frizz is a curl begging for moisture. So the trick is to add and maintain that hydration to keep your curls happy.  What we use to cleanse, as well as how often we cleanse,  can be working against us by depleting that moisture, or we can maintain hydration by gently cleansing our hair and scalp. As long as you use water soluble products, your cleanser is mainly for your scalp. Be sure you massage your scalp to release any dirt or oils. Once or twice a week is usually sufficient. Many curlies will argue with that: I sweat and have to wash my hair every day. Guess what - sweat dries! There are also ways to cleanse your scalp with out completely wetting your hair. For example, lavender is a natural cleanser. Massaged into your scalp, lavender water  this can cleanse and deodorize . I know this can take some getting used to, but having great curls should not be super time consuming.
   Next comes the conditioning. If in low humidity you leave a little conditioner in, now is the time to double or triple or more that amount. Remember : from here on, we're talking about your hair.  To be sure the conditioner gets to your hair versus scalp, flip upside down and start applying your conditioner up from the ends. This is the time to detangle with your fingers and really saturate your hair.  Sometimes I find  leaving the conditioner in for awhile, then rinsing and reapplying gives better penetration. By the way, you know how each curly has a drier frizzier spot that really drives her crazy? ( Everyone has multiple textures in their hair ).  That spot needs a little extra tlc. That could mean applying more conditioner, a different conditioner, or an oil that penetrates vs lays on top of your hair. 
    When adding styling products, leaving hair as wet as possible increases the hydration. I know, it seems as if you're watering down the product, but try it. This is the time to add extra moisture. One option here could be a styling cream. Then a styling gel. Don't be afraid of product . Those that are silicone and sulfate free will help keep those curls defined. Gel can also work to your advantage. If you air dry, any motion will cause frizz. This is where gel can help. If it dries a little crunchy, that helps hold those curls stay in place as they dry.  Remember : no touching until those curls are completely dry. Then scrunch to get your curls soft and bouncy. 
   I said not to be afraid of product, because it truly can be your friend. The next day, if needed, misting your hair will reactivate that product . A little watered down conditioner can also help maintain that moisture. Of course, don't forget your night time care to prevent disturbing those curls.

  Now get out and enjoy those curls!    One thing you can count on with curls is they can look different every day. Embrace that , and love what you have!
 
   
     

        You and your stylist -  what an important relationship! But it can be scary - right? Especially for a curly girl. I once had a  new client tell me that getting her hair done was like going to the dentist: Stressful at the least, painful at worst. That made me so sad. I asked what the experience had been to cause those feelings, and of course  it was a variation of what we have all experienced: a stylist who doesn't listen, who tells us what is right for us, who is intimidating . The list goes on. When did we stop believing we had a right to be listened to, as well as a right to be heard ?   Well  you do have those rights! A stylist/client relationship should be a collaboration. Yes, I am the professional, meaning I have been a hairstylist for many years, and am knowledgeable about hair tools, products, and styling techniques. What I don't know is you : not just your hair, which you know , since you have lived with it all your life, but who you are. What is your lifestyle , your personal style, your profession -  all that makes you you. I find everyone has a bottom line. Some people can't tolerated hair in their face or the flip in the back. More importantly, you know your hair . Do you have a coarse spot, or an area that's curlier or straighter?  Has your hair texture changed and if so why? What does your hair do in the humidity? Anything that matters to you matters to me. My job as your stylist is first to listen to you.  Then I tell you what I have heard and how that could impact what we then decide to do. My knowledge and experience then enters as I hear what you say, study your hair, it's texture , movement, and shape, and offer possibilities . I  feel very strongly that my job is to see the whole picture of who you are, meet you where you are in your comfort level, and offer possibilities and options.  Maybe you aren't ready for a change. Yet. That's ok, but I want you to be able to visualize possibilities . This collaborative relationship we have requires trust, and sometimes trust takes time.
    Recently I had a real lesson in the importance of trust between me an my clients. After many many years of using and being only loyal to Deva products and techniques, I learned about different product lines from my wonderfully knowledgeable CHA pals. I explored the Jessicurl line and decided to begin using it and see what everyone thought. I did this with great trepidation : What would all my clients think? After all this time of  recommending only Deva products would they feel betrayed? The short version is it was not a big deal. Everyone was interested, asked questions, and was open! What they told me is my clients trust me, and know I would never suggest products that are not the very best for their curls.
   So ~  you as a client have a right to be heard. Insist on it and don't stop until you're satisfied !